Do You Ever
by QueenAmbrose
Summary: He could never break routine and not call her... Even after all the time he spent away.


**AN: Hello, I've decided to do some late night writing. **

**disclaimer: I dont own CM Punk or anyone in this fic, nor do I know anything about their personal lives. This is all made up. **

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CM Punk watched from his bedroom window as AJ - his wife - drove away from their driveway. He sighed, running a hand over his short hair. He absentmindedly ran a hand over his stomach, pulling his shirt up and over his head, revealing his tattooed torso to his bedroom mirror. He hadn't bothered asking her where she was going, not that he particularly wanted to know. She'd be back.

He headed downstairs, stopping in his kitchen to grab a bottle of his drink of choice. He flipped it around in his hands, reading the label "Pepsi." He smiled to himself, wondering if the woman on his mind was thinking about him too, doing the same thing he was. He knew she was. This was their routine. Their toxic routine that would have to end soon.

He moved to his living room, throwing himself onto his couch as he fished his phone from his pocket. He dialed her number, having known it by heart by then. He listened to the sound of the ringing, hoping this wouldn't be the time she didn't answer the phone. Everyone knew he didn't deserve that much. Hell, he didn't deserve to be a contact saved in her phone. But she never said she hated him, never told him to fuck off, and she never denied her love for him…. And he hated _himself _for it. No one would ever understand the shitty feeling he felt whenever he even thought of her.

"Pick up, pickuppickup. Pick. Up."

"Punk?" Her voice filtered through the speaker, and he closed his eyes, wondering if he should hang up or not. She however, didn't make another sound, only tightening her grip on her cellphone.

"Yeah," He answered breathlessly, "It's me Nik.." He heard her take a deep breath, and he imagined the heart broken look on her face.

She laughed, falling back onto her bed, "That time again?" There was no malice -an oddity and rarity when it came talking to him - but he could tell she was tired of doing the same song and dance when it came to him. "One of these days Punk, one of these days you're gonna run out of Pepsi and will have to make up your mind." She unscrewed the cap of the gin bottle, taking a swig.

_And now is the time for that Pepsi. _

Punk sighed, "And what if I still don't know what I want to do?"

She sat up, crossing her legs over the other, "You don't seem all that torn up, considering where you're at." She took another swig of the alcohol currently numbing the pain that she associated with these conversations. One day, one day she swore she wouldn't need it when she thought of him.

Punk lifted his Cubs cap off his head to run his hands over his hair, replacing the hat on his head. This always escalated quickly, "Can you not-"

"Not what?" Nikki harshly retorted, "Remind you that you're an idiot? Or better yet, the idiot that broke my heart when you left and then got married!?"

"Yeah that." Punk gritted his teeth, purposely falling silent because he had nothing to say. He chuckled bitterly in the back of his throat.

"Did you call to throw it back in my face? Why do you ever call?" Nikki blinked back tears, placing the glass bottle on her nightstand.

"Because." Punk swallowed the lump in his throat. He was usually very snappy, and could easily rip into someone with his words, but he couldn't with Nikki. Especially when he was the one who screwed up majorly. He loved his wife, as much as he could have. But he loved the woman on the other end of the line just as much, if not more. He was _in love _with Nikki. And he had no idea how to deal with her being angry with him. He knew she had every right to never speak to him again, but it would probably kill him. No. It would kill him. He closed his eyes, placing his Pepsi bottle on the floor. It was moments like that where he wished he would pick up a strong liquor like she did.

"Because what?" Nikki didn't want an answer. His brutal honesty would make it hard for her to deny him. It was long pauses like that one that made her remember their best moments, and their worse ones. The worse one being that news that he'd gone and got married. "Don't say you miss me. You can't say it. Especially because it's all your fault."

He shook his head as if she could see him. He heard the sobs she tried to stifle, and his stomach lurched. He wanted to thumb away the tears he caused. "I wasn't going to say I missed you."

"Oh, grea-"

"I was going to say I love you." There was a long pause, and neither one of them wanted to say anything. Punk leaned back on his couch, on leg on the pillows while the other was on the floor. He knew he shouldn't have said it. Not only was it wrong, but he knew she probably hated him enough before hand.

Nikki didn't bother wiping her eyes, instead she watched as her tears dripped down onto her legs. "How's the married life?" She asked, her eyes squeezed shut because she really didn't want an answer. She just needed to hear about him, she needed anything to change the focus from his feelings for her.

Punk felt like he took a punch to the gut. Nikki always managed to make him realize his mistakes, no matter if it was her intention or not. But he knew. She didn't want to know. "You don't really want-"

"Don't tell me what -" She stopped, taking a deep breath, "I asked, didn't i?"

"It's fine."

"Is it?" Nikki inquired, knowing full well - just by the tone of his voice - he was miserable. A part of her, the part of her that wanted to hate him for the rest of her natural life, was smug. She told herself he deserved it after the way he hurt her, but she never really believed it. Despite all the bullshit, under all the tattoos and tough demeanor, he was a good person. "Do you ever regret it?"

"Regret what?" Punk sat up, turning his head closer as if he could get closer to the phone that way.

"Leaving me…" She whispered, effectively breaking his heart a little more.

He opened his mouth to speak, pausing when AJ walked through the front door, kicking her converse off while managing to juggle a plastic bag and a box of pizza. She smiled at him, and he returned it…

He sighed into the phone, not thinking of his answer because it really wasn't a difficult answer to give…

"Everyday."

After he hung up, and he took the pizza box from AJ, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Reading the notification on his lock screen, he smiled.

_I love you too._


End file.
